I recently listened to a podcast where the host shared ten things she was embarrassed to talk about. It surprised me because it seems like these days we only publicly share the pretty parts of our lives instead of the struggle we all go through to get there. Her podcast made me feel normal for having similar challenges and rather than making me think less of her, I wound up having even more respect for her and appreciated her vulnerability.
I thought it would be an interesting experiment for me to do the same thing, so here are ten things I’m embarrassed to tell you:
When I first learned that there was a reason, I felt denial like, “Well, I guess it’s not important because I made it this far.” Next came the doubt of, “Wait, if I don’t know why this works, how well do I understand this topic.” Finally came, “Oh gosh, what if there are reasons for all the other things I can do but don’t understand.” I’m pretty sure I’m not alone with this one, but it’s something that can be awkward to admit.
However, I said nothing publicly, even though I was in a position where I could say something, because I didn’t want to rock the boat. I continued to passively act like I had no control over the situation and found myself in similar lineups. I regret my previous inactions and I’m working to better align the values I claim to have with what my actions show.
In telling this regret to my friend Lybrya Kebreab, she clearly and succinctly explained that it shouldn’t be people of color’s responsibility to call it out every time there’s an injustice. As soon as she said that, it hit me how obviously right she was, but up until that moment, I hadn’t considered that reality.
I’d appreciate it if you let me know what you thought. What parts resonated with you? Have you had any similar experiences? Please let me know in the comments.